im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
