Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
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