I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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