She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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