Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
soo... how was my night?
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