last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize