I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize