I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
