apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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