You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
