lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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