I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
