bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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