My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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