I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
