Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
