Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
