YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
