WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
