Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
