it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
