I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
