Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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