what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
