Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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