After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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