definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I have post one night stand depression
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
