pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
