I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
