Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
