Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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