Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
