I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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