When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
