we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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