ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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