I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
