you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he fucked my hip out of place.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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