Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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