i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
