Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
