I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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