can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
