All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize