It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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