i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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