R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
