I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize