You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
