I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
