Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
