The maid of honor just puked.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
