Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
