is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
