why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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