I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
