i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think people are normalizing furries
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
