Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
