I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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