i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
