I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
