to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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