I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
