Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
