Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
