If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize