I puked a lego.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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