I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
